Death would be Bliss
by shadowkat678
Summary: Have you ever wondered what a Dementor thinks, how it feels? Have you ever stopped to ponder if it's existence may just be as horrible as it's effect?


**The Most Beautiful Flower**

**By Shadowkat678**

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**Disclaimer: I am not rich nor do I own a multimillion dollar franchise, so it's safe to assume I am not the owner of Harry Potter. If I was, I wouldn't cry every time I open my wallet...**

**This is for the Divergent Challenge. ****Dauntless, quote number two. "Why do people want to pretend that death is sleep? It's not."**

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The viewing took place on the day of November the seventh, held at a church located in Cokeworth, the childhood town of Lily Potter. The next day the two bodies would travel onwards to Godric's Hollow, and the couple would finally be put to rest.

The sky was overcast and the wind blew bitterly cold. It was snowing early that year, the flakes as white and pure as the woman he'd come for. Each time he saw a snowflake he couldn't help but compare it to her, its whiteness the whiteness of her cheek, its beauty hers. He paid little attention to the messy haired man lying still in the coffin sitting beside her, his dark hair as cockily tousled in death as in life. No, he didn't matter. All he had eyes for was the woman, her red hair had laid out gracefully in a cloud around her shoulders, her green eyes closed, and as beautiful in death as she'd been in life. Lily might have been sleeping, for the image was so peaceful…but even the preservation charm couldn't hide the slight ting of blue in her lips, or the paleness of her cheeks.

No one noticed as the greasy haired, hooked nosed man at the back of the crowd slipped silently out of the church courtyard, desperate to escape the droning of the tall, slightly plump wizard upfront that the rest of the guests were currently focused on.

It was always the same speech, no matter who gave it. "They'll be missed greatly; they were good people." Sometimes even the, "They'll be in a better place now." There was no emotion, just the flat voice of a well-rehearsed speech spoken one too many times. Why do people want to pretend that death is sleep? It's not. When you sleep you wake up again, but Lily Potter never would. The vibrantly colored green eyes he'd always loved so much would remain forever closed, never to open again.

It almost made him feel physically sick. As if they ever really knew her, as if they ever really knew either of them. Half of the people at the viewing had probably never even met Lily or James Potter, let alone felt anything when they died besides a sick relief at the war's long awaited end. They weren't there to mourn, not really. They were there to celebrate the Potter's son, Harry. No one would remember the little girl, born and raised in Cokeworth, whose laugh rang out like a bell, who always went out of her way to help others, even when it was at her own expense. No one would remember the way her eyes lit up when she smiled, or those small acts of kindness for the nine year old boy with the bruises and mismatched clothes unseen by, it seemed, everyone but her. If Lily were remembered, it would only be as the mother of the Boy-Who-Lived. If they remembered James at all, they'd call him a hero for his stupidity. No one would remember the stuck up arrogant bully of a boy he always was. No, they'd never remember the people, just the names...

Somewhere behind him the church bell gonged noon, its tone ringing deep and solemn through the air as he trudged through the deserted streets, trampled snow crunching softly under his feet even as a new snowfall promised to cover his tracks.

He pulled his winter cloak tighter about him, trying to retain as much body heat as he possibly could, but he knew it wasn't just the cold air that sent a chill ripping up his spine. No, his cloak would do nothing to melt the freezing ice growing around his heart.

The previously neat buildings made way to a roughly cobbled street, its rows upon rows of dilapidated brick houses, broken street lamps, and the only remnant of the industry that had given Spinner's End its name, an abandoned mill sitting rundown in the distance, giving off an air of neglect to the scene. This was the childhood home of Severus Snape, and he loathed it now more than ever.

He continued on in a bitter silence, the smell of the stagnant stream running at the edge of the neighborhood drifting through the air.

Snape reached the last house on Spinner's end and pulled his wand from his pocket, magically unlocked his door, as the lock it once had was broken ages ago.

He went to enter, but hesitated, his hand stopping just short of the handle. Pulling his wand out once more, he relocked the battered old door and walked away.

He didn't know what compelled him to do so, but soon he found his feet carrying him by long habit to the riverbank. Within minutes he stood once more at the spot where he'd spent so much of his childhood. It was the one place besides Hogwarts he felt at peace, safe from his home life as the willows blew softly in the wind, trailing their branches in the lush green grass at the water's edge. If he closed his eyes, he could still see it, just as it used to be.

The snow was gone and the grass was warm and green under the bright blue sky. Numerous flowers bloomed along the banks in the summer heat, and he could see himself once more as a nine year old boy with a bright eyed Lily Evans lying on the ground beside him. Even then he had loved her, loved the secret they shared and the way she would smile at him, her green eyes glowing. He had loved to make her smile. He watched a look flicker in her eyes as he told her what no one else ever knew, an unspoken promise of a secret they'd carry together. It was a look he'd never received from anyone else, a look of understanding. But then it was gone once more, the moment lost in the stream of time.

He opened his eyes and let go the breath he had been holding, tracing its silent white course as it rose like a silent prayer to Heaven.

Severus Snape had never claimed to be religious, never believed that such a kind, caring God could exist with his life as it was. What God, after all, could let a nine-year-old boy watch as his mother cowered before his father as she was beaten bloody on their kitchen floor by a man who ought to love her? What God could let Lily die? What God would leave him alone? But Lily believed there was one, and for the first time in his life, he found himself hoping there was a God too, though he knew even then he would never deserve to see her again. It was his fault she had died, after all. For her sake, Severus hoped she was right, that her parent's muggle religion wasn't the rubbish he'd always thought it was. He would gladly take Hell if only Lily got the Heaven she deserved.

He didn't know how long he stood there, but when he left a new layer of snow had already fallen, and his footprints only reopened the wounds his previous steps had created.

The last thing he saw as he walked away was a small Lily sticking out its head, the single spot of color from the resilient flower in the whiteness making it shine all the brighter...

Many people would say that the rose is the most beautiful flower, but they're wrong, he thought. Where the rose has thorns that prick for protection, the Lily hides behind nothing. It's pure and honest, small and simple, but yes, the Lily is just as beautiful as the rose, resilient and stubborn enough to bloom even in the coldest and darkest of times.

As he brushed the snow off himself and started back, the small flower stayed in the forefront of his mind, the flower, as well as the woman who took so closely after it.

In the years that followed, he'd only return to the spot once more. The following week, he too would be gone…

We still don't know for sure if the Heaven he hoped his childhood friend would be in is real or not, but if there is such a thing, maybe he was wrong about never seeing Lily again. If there's one thing their story taught us, it's that, no matter who you are, there's always hope. Hope for love, hope for redemption, and hope for a long ago broken friendship to be set right...

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**A/N: I know I said I wouldn't upload anything until I got out my next chapter, but I kinda accepted this challenge about a month or two ago, so I kinda had to do it. **

**I'm still working on the second chapter of Regret, really sorry guys. My cousin had a wedding (They put a little Doctor Who and the Tardis on the wedding cake! I'm so doing that with Harry when I get married...but that will come when it comes. If ever.) I'm also going out of town to visit family for the 4th of July, no clue how long that'll be. Then we're going out AGAIN! The rest of the time has been due to a bit of a snag I've encountered coupled with pure procrastination. Feel free to rage, I probably deserve it.**

**Anyway, that's my life at the moment. Don't forget to tell me what you think, really boosts the old self esteem levels. I love hearing about the parts you guys like, favorite moments and such, but remember, tips are welcome as well. How else will I improve? (P.S.: I now have a poll up for what character I should revolve my next oneshot around. Feel free to participate.)**


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